Valentine’s Day and your Spouse

Valentine’s Day and Your Spouse –

Written by: Michael Hyatt – At some point after walking down the aisle, after having children or after become very career focused, husbands and wives stop learning about one another and the most important relationship they’ll ever have. I discuss the importance of studying our spouses in my new book. ‘The 7 Rings of Marriage’, I call this stage or “ring” of marriage the “Discovering”. Discovering things about your spouse is life-giving to your marriage. I believe when discovering stops; the death of your marriage begins. You become complacent. You take one another for granted. You assume because you have known each other so long that your marriage would naturally grow as a result of time. My marriage grew alright. But not necessarily in the direction we wanted it to. We were both growing, just not together. My interests were changing and my wife didn’t always notice. My wife’s needs were changing, but I was oblivious to them. Finally we reached a point where we felt we didn’t really know each other which was scary. You may know the ins and outs of your business or ministry like nobody else but maybe you don’t know the ins and outs of your spouse. It may be time for you to enroll in the continuing education about your spouse.

3 Ways to Get an Advanced Degree in “Spouse”

  1. Do new things together. Several years ago my wife and I went snow skiing. Wow, what an experience! I never knew my wife was such a risk taker, while at the same time she learned how risk averse I am. I came away appreciating her boldness, which I’d never know like that before. She learned to find another partner when it comes to skiing, roller coaster riding or anything involving physical risk! Experiencing new things helps you understand and appreciate your spouse in new ways.
  1. Take notes. Notes help cement the lessons you learned and gives you the opportunity to later review and act on what was taught. Why not take the same approach with your spouse? Document your Spouse’s like, dislikes, health concerns, prayers, and anything else you find interesting about them. If you plan to study your spouse, you should be taking notes.
  1. Use your calendar. What gets calendared gets done. I’m not saying our spouses are nothing more than appointments. But things that don’t make it on the calendar receive the “out of sight, out of mind” treatment. Unfortunately, this happens in a lot of marriages. Put date nights and lunch dates in your calendar. Block out time to unwind each evening with your spouse. Even schedule down time where you can do nothing but talk together. Of course this is not an exhaustive list of ways to learn more about your spouse. The limits are only restricted by your imagination and creativity. The key is remembering there is no graduation or end date regarding the things you can learn about your spouse and your marriage.